Friends Are Family

Personally, I hate to lose a friend.  I’ve learned lessons the hard way numerous times throughout my life and losing friends is one thing I can’t take anymore, especially when it due to my own dumb mistake(s).  I don’t want to dwell on the past, and I don’t want to rant or complain about what might have been, but there is a certain amount of frustration that comes along with making a mistake you can never make right.  No matter how long never may be in the end, it doesn’t necessarily hurt that one of my best friends no longer wants to talk to me, it hurts that I was blindly willing to give them up for someone else who I should have known was changing me into something I didn’t want to be.  When I gave up every friend for my girlfriend, I thought it would be ok, that we would be happy together, that she would no longer be jealous, that I would find new friends, that somehow, things would be happy.  I didn’t see, for some reason, that when you give up on friends, friends move on and give up on you.  It’s not always this way, thank god, but it can be in some cases.  One of my closest friends now doesn’t want to hear from me simply because I was wrapped up in my world, blind to the fact that I was submitting myself to change without forethought, and not sticking to who I thought I was in the first place.  I always wanted to be an honest, caring, kind, friendly, warm, mostly gentle guy I guess, but when I felt like that was wrong for me to want to be, then I decided to change into someone my girlfriend would love more.  I didn’t realize that, in doing so, I wouldn’t be who I always wanted to be anymore.  Maybe I felt it a little bit as it happened, maybe not, but I see it now, and I’m changed to have a more objective view of things now, to be more thoughtful of things before acting upon them, and to take friends and family into account first.  I want them to matter above anyone else, friends, family, a relationship, and myself, because those define who I am, and they are who I will become.  I might be more cautious now or I might just be more observant and thoughtful, but I think it’s better than letting myself change and become immature enough to blindly change because of a cause that isn’t worth fighting over in the first place.  I’ve just set my priorities straighter I guess, and so that’s the main thing I take thanks from in this last relationship, just that I know what I need in life, how I want to live, and who with.  My friends have become a sort of family in my mind, and they are irreplacable, I just wish sometimes that they were un-losable.


2 Responses to “Friends Are Family”

  1. I forget where I heard it, but I’ve heard it said that friends are the family you choose and family are the friends you’re stuck with. I can relate to that.

    I’m going Freudian here, but does this entry have to do with Jessica or the new lady?

  2. Neither, actually, as I told you tonight. It’s about an ex-girlfriend from Colombia when I lived there, and she doesn’t want to hear from me anymore, sadly. It’s a long story, but hey, if we’re stuck at a party again, then we’ll have plenty of time. :). See you later dude.

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