Life is a Decision

I recently wrote this as a part of a response to a friend’s email.  It was interesting because her email tied together all of the things that have been hinting at this message in my life the past week or two.  It’s an important message, to be sure, and everybody knows it I think, to some extent, but not everybody knows it fully.  So here’s my theory on life, heh, and one of the umpteen-zillion aspects of it.

Filmmaking at a professional level is extremely hard, mostly just because you have to know a lot of influential people to get you into the position where you’re surrounded by good enough connections to get heard about by somebody. That’s the most frustrating part, that their isn’t an outlet for very creative but still very amateur filmmakers that guarantees them passage into some place that gives them more to work with for an even wider audience base and a bigger result until they can build themselves up to something even bigger and better. That’s the kind of moviemaking we should congratulate, not yet ANOTHER James Bond movie that really wasn’t all that good.  There’s something I’ve been learning through doing this writing experiment of my screenplay and just living the past few weeks, and that’s basically that we’re all in control of our own lives. You can’t always feel organized or definitely sure, and you shouldn’t, really, because life wouldn’t be the same, but you are in control, and you make the decisions, nobody else can make up your mind for you, so it’s your own responsibility to live the way you decide to live. For me, that means sucking it up and being confident, being my old, usual self, it means more talking, less looking at the floor, just being friendly and nice and openly kind to people, instead of the typical closed, New-England attitude. I was talking with my dad tonight about politics, the first time I’ve ever talked with anyone seriously about politics, and I tried to make the point that basically, the U.S. has gone lazy. The government didn’t really pay attention to the little guy from the moment it started in 2000, and now they’re making all these blundering public mistakes that get brought to court, are written about in papers and then just forgotten. Forgotten! Major cases against the current government that decides the people’s fate for them in this country, and they’re forgotten. The little guy was ignored by them, and now, even the people seeking action against the government is even forgetting about them, they’re the 60-some-odd percent of people that don’t vote, that don’t respond to polls, that don’t seem to care or act about the present situation of the country, and they’re the people that make the difference. The government is supposed to represent the people, what the people want and then do it, and now, the little people who thought they were listened to aren’t, and so they give up, and we lose over half the country to their private, happier worlds where they don’t have to worry about being badgered by either side because neither side remembers that “Oh, right, we’ve got another couple million people we’ve left behind” and they just go on with their pointless, endless political war because nobody seems to care enough to pay attention and do something about the current situation in the world. So, you can’t just let it slide by, as I know you know, but you can’t try to always be in control either. There’s a happy medium that you have to find for you. It’ll work for you, and it’ll probably take time, but once you find that place where you’re confident and happy and things seem to fit – maybe not perfectly, but they fit just the same – then you’re all set, I’d say. I don’t know if this helps or if it just makes the case even more stressful, making you want to find that happy medium but it’s the lesson I guess I’ve been thinking about the past week or so. I’m in control of my life, and there’s nobody that can change that, which means that I need to be responsible for my life and where I take it. It’s like the opposite of fate, and I know sociologists would sort of agree and sort of disagree with me, that’s fine. I’m in control of my life, of what I do, how I act, what I say, if I say anything at all. And so, I’m going to talk to that girl whenever I see her next at the video store or otherwise, and whenever this script is done, I’m going to send it to Emily Browning and ask her to be in the damn movie. And, if she says yes, I will raise the money to get all my film contacts all over the country to come to one place to make the damn movie, because you don’t let the opportunities slide by when they’ve presented themselves, no matter how they “chose” to do so. When you’re ignored, you feel powerless, so don’t let yourself feel ignored. Similarly when you are stressed, often it’s because you don’t feel in control of your own life, and that’s hard to deal with. I guess it’s what’s been happening to me the past few weeks. But, if you just persevere and try to manage your own things at first and then branch out, making bigger decisions until you feel more confident again, then I think things will eventually work themselves out. It’s often the most boisterous, confident people that we admire, typically because they always seem to know who they are, what they want. It’s not all that hard to be like them. All you’ve got to do is make the decision, and you’re on the right track.

Here’s a video below of one of the aforementioned “hints” of this message that happened just tonight.  Oh, and if you’re wondering what those hints are, pay attention to things people say in your life, things that happen, things that have commonalities, similar meanings, or underlying meanings, things that can be applied to your life or speak to you more than whatever else is going on.  Chances are, if it happens a few times, you’d better pay attention.  That’s my philosophy and experience, anyway.



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